Nurses Happily Eat Their Young

Truth! I do not understand how a profession so full of compassion and caring manages to be so cruel to new nurses... (or is it just something that happens in OB and other forms of floor nursing? *gasp*) in any case, nursing cannibalism is learned straight away, in nursing school. Lemme tell a quick story...

So, one time, not so long ago, I was doing time during a med surg rotation. I was assigned 2 patients, one of which was also assigned to a “higher ranking” senior student nurse. Needless to say, in comparison to the senior student, I required very little guidance or attention. I simply needed to assess and chart on our patient. I was not to be performing any procedures or giving any meds that day. The senior student was not happy with my presence. Honestly, I have no idea why. I mean, I am not unpleasant, I did not overstep, and I was actually going to make her job easier! I figure the senior student found her opportunity to trump me and so she did with as much attitude as she could. She would reference me to the assigned nurse as “she,” never referring to me directly (gawds). She was also sure to delegate the “lesser” tasks to me all through CNA, of course. Certainly, her behavior annoyed me, but I was able to see past it all. The senior student was simply a poor, dumb, bitch who got off on utilizing what little power she had. Fine. I had my assessing and charting done already, anyway. Pick and choose daily battles, right?

Anyway, later, after I had finished my lunch break, I checked in on our mutual patient. He was restless in his bed, claiming that he knew his bowels were about to move, and LAWDS, it had been days! He was excited, yet apprehensive. I eased his anxiety with some classic, professional nursing education and educated his wife on how to assist him when the time to FINALLY pass the bowels arrived. Specifically, however, I instructed them both to press the call button, when it was time, and ask for (assigned nurse and bitch-student nurse) by name. Both patient and spouse agreed and demonstrated to me that they understood by repeating my instructions back to me.

The best part!?! The patient actually did what I asked! He called for the assigned and senior student nurse to assist him with his poop. It was an amazing poop, too! As they were assisting him, with the door to his room wide open and the warm scent of stale shit crowding the hallway, I knocked lightly and asked the patient if he was ok. He said he was great and that the ladies came to help him just as I said they would. I told him I was glad and reassured him that those ladies were happy to assist him.

Later, the senior student gave me a razor-beam-death stare. No biggie. I was just ecstatic that revenge had worked for me. In the past, when I had made attempts to plot revenge, scenarios back-fired. I accept this, as well, because I believe that spending life plotting revenge is a gross neglect of energy; make the world better, not worse, do not feed the fire. But sometimes? Damn, utilize free-will to humble the terrible people!

#fuckhierarchy

Image credit: The Nerdy Nurse

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