So I sit here, and like a scene from so many literary movies, I watch my cursor blink within this blank space-box. I have no idea what to say or where to start. Additionally, I am not sure that I even possess the energy (or talent!) to post ANYTHING substantial. Ever.
So lemme just start with bitching. I am good at that. And reasoning. I am good at reasoning, too, especially as a by-standing witness to bullshit (BS). But one thing at a time.
When one refers to somebody as “bitching,” I visualize the bitcher as being a person who is inappropriate and not worthy. Like, I almost feel as though the very act of bitching is self-demeaning. Regardless of how much self-perceived self-dignity I try to maintain, I am a bitcher and a behind-the-scenes one at that. Do you see? I come to a BLOG to bitch, where I am safe behind my MacBook (judging? For a Macbook book? C’mon, world, deal already!) all snuggly in the confines of my cozy, little home.
So then I wonder if being a behind-the-scenes bitcher goes hand in hand with cowardice? *gasp* Collectively, as humans, we like to visualize ourselves as mighty, with brave, astounding integrity, and words of wisdom that change all who we come in contact with for the better… but do many of us question whether or not WE REALLY ARE ONLY COWARDS? How disappointing to have to consider that truth.
Yeah, it’s likely that I am cowardly, especially as a behind-the-scenes-bitcher. I’ll own that, especially because I prefer to deter conflict. I do not want to fight and I certainly don’t have time or energy to explain myself to another moronic human being. Blah.
So, I’ll blog-rant what I really want to say. Like so many others. I don’t expect to be special, either. However, I would like to reach somebody, at least SOMEBODY, and help them feel just a little LESS crazy, heartless or psychotic.